If narcissism were a tree, I would want to uproot it today and expose its roots.

I want to do this because narcissism isn’t just something you see and experience; it’s a personality disorder that has become a tangible reality for the person.

But what causes it? Could it appear suddenly? Is it a random collection of negative traits that may manifest in a person’s personality?

Of course, there’s more than one explanation.

Deep Research

As with many problems, you won’t know the real causes unless you look for them. The roots are hidden, unseen, but they are responsible for what you see above ground.

This is exactly what we’re doing today. When you see that narcissist, what you don’t see is the reason.

Note: Don’t tell them we’re criticizing them. We don’t want them to be in control, do we?

1 Childhood Neglect

No one gave them the love they needed as children.

This kind of neglect can negatively impact a person in the wrong ways. Over time, the lack of love can develop into a lack of self-esteem and self-worth. Imagine the lasting effects this can have on a person.

No support.

Little or no nurturing.

Where does the child end up? They develop a deep need for admiration and appreciation from almost anyone who offers it.

It’s heartbreaking for the child at that time, and no one deserves neglect.

But what grows and takes root is that narcissistic personality.

As children, they feel they can only fill it with external things.

This is because they don’t feel they can fill it with things like self-love and vulnerability. They’ve learned that these are bad traits.

And yes, you’re suffering because of it now.

2… “Too Much Love” in Childhood

Excessive praise from parents can inflate the ego early in life.

The opposite of the first point, isn’t it? Children who are taught that they can never make mistakes, that they’re the best at everything they do, and that they receive praise all the time:

Completely spoiled.

Because they don’t need to earn praise, it becomes an expected part of childhood.

Tell me I’m great all the time just because you can.

It doesn’t sound right, and the proof is in the results.

If you tell a child this, they’ll believe it no matter the situation.

They quickly learn to want attention, expect it, and demand it.

Make room for narcissism!

3 Parental Pressure

Excessive pressure to achieve goals can breed narcissistic traits.

I don’t care what it might be:

Appearance.

Academic results.

Achievement.

Hobbies.

Sports.

Social status.

If you push your child to their limits and strive for success, you’re setting the perfect stage for narcissism to flourish.

This is because children will realize that the only way to please others is to strive for perfection.

This need for perfection will continue into adulthood, making it even more problematic for people like you and me who have to be around these people.

4 Early Childhood Trauma or Abuse

Narcissism can be considered a defense mechanism. It can stem from early childhood trauma or abuse.

If a child experienced a traumatic or abusive period as a child, the development of narcissistic traits may stem from their desire to defend themselves.

Think of it this way: Trauma robs a person of their sense of security. So, they either get lost in it, or they create such a strong defense that no one can access their most deeply embedded memories.

Accessing such memories—in their view—would make them vulnerable to re-traumatization. Narcissists say: No, thanks for that!

5 It’s in the genes

I’m not going to argue with the research here.

Genetics may play a role in how a narcissistic personality develops.

If there’s a family history of narcissism, a person is more likely to pass on their traits to someone else.

I don’t want to say this applies to everyone, or even most people, but it’s not impossible to pass on these negative traits.

6 Insecure Attachment Style

Whether unhealthy or insecure attachment patterns, certain attachment styles can contribute to narcissism.

Think about anything unstable in childhood and its impact on the child. These early years are crucial, and how you bond with your child is crucial.

Without a secure attachment, a child will view the world very differently than you and I do.

This fosters the potential for narcissism to become a defense mechanism: fear of abandonment, feelings of inadequacy, and, of course, a lack of trust in others.

What protects a person from pain?

Projection.

7 Cultural Influence

Living in an environment, whether cultural or societal, where one’s character or accomplishments are so celebrated that it fosters narcissistic traits.

Mindsets can change when a person only sees how to fulfill their desires or elevate their successes to the skies.

When self-promotion becomes the norm, along with the pressure to stand out from the crowd, there is often a strong strand of narcissism.

8 Parental Care… Where?

Without proper nurturing, a child will grow up feeling untrusted, leaving them feeling insecure and unsure about themselves and the world.

One moment, this nurturing is absent, and the next, you’ll find yourself under intense pressure to succeed.

This shift in expectations may push a person to foster an optimistic view of themselves to get through the tough times.

This fluctuation will also affect what the narcissist sees as normal, which is reflected in every relationship they encounter.

9 Unresolved Conflicts

Deep insecurity creates unresolved emotional conflicts—and vice versa.

Everything has to start somewhere, right?

Let’s say you grew up believing it was normal to witness or be part of unresolved conflict.

In that case, you’re likely to try to compensate for this discomfort by exaggerating your superiority.

No matter what, I don’t have time for this!

I’m too important to fall for this nonsense!

All this stems from an inability to find solutions. This begins in childhood.

10 Personality Tendencies

Narcissism can develop when certain personality traits combine and interact with appropriate environmental factors.

Certain traits or dispositions predispose a person to become more narcissistic.

In this case, you must consider the child’s upbringing, genetics, if any, and the child’s existing traits to see a narcissistic outcome.

This predisposition may, and will, be an indicator of a person’s susceptibility to becoming a narcissist later in life.