A jealous mother-in-law can turn even the best relationships into a total mess. Her actions and simple comparisons can make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells. But if you want to deal with her, the first step is understanding why she acts the way she does.
Have you ever felt like your mother-in-law is always trying to get her son’s attention whenever you’re around? Or noticed her knack for undermining your choices and decisions? These subtle traits can be hard to ignore, but understanding them can be the first step.
Most mothers-in-law tend to act a certain way. If you recognize the signs, you can navigate this difficult situation gracefully and remain calm.
11 Signs of a Jealous Mother-in-Law
- Constant Comparisons
One sign of a jealous mother-in-law might be comparing you to other people, especially her children’s ex-spouses or other relatives.
It might be subtle comments like “Emma used to do it this way” or direct statements that suggest you’re not good enough. Do you find this annoying, too?
- Overprotective Behavior
One sign of a jealous mother-in-law is that she may be overly protective of her child’s time or decisions. This can range from interfering with your plans together to questioning every choice you make as a couple. This may also stem from her fear of losing control or influence over her child.
- Passive-Aggressive Comments
Passive-aggressive comments are one of the things a jealous mother-in-law loves most. These comments often sound like concern or advice, but at their core, they’re criticism and disapproval—more like trying to understand what they really mean.
- Undermining Your Choices
One sign of a jealous mother-in-law is that she may subtly analyze your choices, especially when it comes to matters she has a strong opinion on. This could be related to parenting, financial management skills, or even home decor—it’s just her way of showing control or knowing you better than anyone else, which can be extremely upsetting.
- Exclusion from Family Events
Have you ever felt like an intruder during family gatherings and celebrations? Signs of a jealous mother-in-law include deliberately keeping you away from home or making you feel unwelcome at family gatherings. She says she can keep her child close without your interference.
- Excessive Worry
It’s okay for someone to be concerned about your safety, but a sign of a jealous mother-in-law is that she will override this normal state by exaggerating everything.
They may exaggerate things that might be wrong in your life or relationship, as a way to sow doubt between you and their child.
- Competing for Attention
Sometimes, a jealous mother-in-law manifests herself through subtle attempts to draw attention to herself instead of the spouses in question. They cause conflict by making it difficult for you to spend time together or with your children. For example, you and your partner have planned a special weekend trip. As you’re getting ready to leave, your mother-in-law calls you with an “important” matter that can be postponed or resolved by someone else. This may be an attempt to keep her child focused on herself, threatening your romantic weekend and upsetting you.
- Interfering in Your Relationship
A jealous mother-in-law may overstep the mark by interfering in your relationship by offering unwanted advice or counsel, and may even try to influence important decisions that affect you as a couple. Some bad mothers-in-law even spread rumors to stir up discord between you and your partner.
- Criticizing Your Family Background
Another way envy can manifest is by criticizing your upbringing or family background. It’s not easy for your mother-in-law to criticize your family background. It can be extremely hurtful, especially if you feel like she’s making her family superior to yours. You may also feel like your position in the family is being undermined.
- Withholding Love and Support
A jealous mother-in-law may be jealous of her child’s relationship with her husband. This can lead to negative behaviors, such as emotional withdrawal. When a mother-in-law is jealous, she may not show any love or support to her child’s husband, which can make her feel lonely and rejected. If your mother-in-law treats you this way, consider setting boundaries to protect your relationship with your husband.
- Ignoring Boundaries
The final straw with a jealous mother-in-law is when she ignores the boundaries you’ve clearly set for her. This can include anything from your personal space to parenting decisions, and even how you manage your home. This disregard can cause tension and conflict, so it’s important to address it head-on. If you’re struggling with a mother-in-law who ignores your boundaries, here are some tips. Remember that you’re not alone, and it’s okay to set boundaries to protect yourself and your family.
5 Ways to Deal with a Jealous Mother-in-Law
- Learn to Set Boundaries:
Set clear boundaries from the start. Tell her that you prioritize your relationship with your partner, but that you value her as a parent.
- Stay Calm and Steadfast:
When she makes sarcastic comments or tries to belittle you, respond calmly. If you lose your temper, things could escalate. 3. Identify Common Interests:
Find activities or hobbies you both enjoy. This reduces jealousy by building a positive relationship between you.
- Involve your partner:
Share your feelings openly with your partner. They should be able to intervene and set boundaries when dealing with their mothers.
- Seek support:
Don’t hesitate to seek advice from friends, family members, or even a therapist. An outside perspective can offer helpful suggestions and approaches.
By understanding her underlying emotions and responding with empathy and clear boundaries, you can promote a more happy family. Share your thoughts about having a toxic MIL in the comments below!
