Self-confidence and self-love are healthy traits, but an excessively selfish personality is characterized by a self-centered mindset that can make relationships difficult.
When you’re with them, you find yourself feeling unheard and belittled. Do you know someone with self-centered personality traits? Learn more about them below!
What Is A Self-CenteredPersonality?
It’s characterized by a deep focus on oneself, where one’s own needs, thoughts, and desires consistently take precedence over the needs, thoughts, and desires of others. Understanding the signs of a self-centered personality can help you manage interactions and set boundaries when needed.
7 Signs of a Self-Centered Personality
Here are seven common signs of self-centered personality traits and real-life examples to illustrate each.
- Center of Attention Syndrome: Self-centered people often crave the spotlight.
They tend to dominate conversations and steer any group dynamic toward themselves, making it difficult for others to contribute.
For example, if someone starts sharing a personal story, a self-centered person may interrupt with a similar (and often exaggerated) story.
Example: At a party, Sarah begins sharing her experience of recently traveling abroad and learning new recipes. Her friend Jake interrupts, loudly proclaiming that he’s a “great chef” with international dishes, and doesn’t allow anyone else to speak for ten minutes.
- Lack of Empathy for Others
A hallmark of a self-absorbed personality is their limited capacity for empathy. They often have difficulty understanding or comprehending other people’s perspectives or feelings.
This lack of empathy can leave others feeling ignored or overlooked, as their concerns or experiences are often downplayed.
Example: Emma is upset after a hard day at work, but when she tries to talk to her friend Mark about it, he dismisses her by saying, “You’re overreacting. My day was much harder.”
- Constant Need for Validation
Selfish people often have an insatiable need for praise and validation, which leads them to constantly seek approval from others. This need may manifest itself in the form of seeking praise or constantly turning to others for reassurance of their worth or success. Example: Josh constantly asks his partner, “Don’t you think I’m the best at my job?” or “You were right about that, weren’t you?” His partner feels exhausted by the constant need to validate their worth.
- Difficulty Admitting Mistakes
Admitting a mistake or error is difficult for many people, but it’s almost impossible for a selfish person.
Because they’re so focused on appearing competent or superior, they go to great lengths to avoid admitting their mistakes, often blaming others or external circumstances.
Example: Lisa submitted an incorrect report at work, confusing her team. Instead of admitting the mistake, she insists that someone else made the wrong decision.
- Seeing Others as Competitors
Selfish people may view everyone around them as competitors, even friends or family. This mindset can lead to jealousy, possessiveness, and a constant desire to outdo others.
Instead of celebrating others’ accomplishments, they may feel threatened and try to outshine them.
Example: Tom’s friend got a promotion, and instead of congratulating him, Tom immediately mentioned his professional success, making his friend’s achievement seem trivial.
- Inflated Self-Esteem
Selfish people often believe their time, opinions, and goals are more important than others.
This exaggerated sense of self-importance can lead to a lack of consideration for those around them, as they feel entitled to special treatment.
Example: Karen insists that her friends comply with her schedule at every meeting, even if it inconveniences others. She rarely considers others’ availability or needs.
- Putting Little Effort into Relationships
Selfish people tend to focus on what they can get from relationships more than what they can give. They may find it difficult to show support, listen attentively, or reciprocate affection. They often expect others to prioritize them, but rarely return the favor.
For example: When Ben’s friend goes through a breakup, Ben avoids offering condolences, saying he’s too busy.
However, when Ben faces a minor problem, he expects his friend to drop everything to help him.
The Impact of Selfish Personality Traits on Relationships: Living or working closely with someone who exhibits signs of a selfish personality can be stressful.
Their selfish behaviors often create an imbalance, with others giving more than they receive in return.
Sometimes, it’s a defense mechanism stemming from insecurity or fear of rejection, and other times, it’s a personality pattern that has developed over time. So, how do you deal with relationships with selfish people?
- Set boundaries: Clarify acceptable and unacceptable behaviors.
For example, if someone constantly interrupts you, gently remind them to let others speak as well.
- Encourage empathy: While you can’t force empathy, you can gently encourage selfish people to consider other people’s perspectives.
- Don’t take it personally: These behaviors are often more about them than you. Understanding this makes interactions easier to navigate.
- Communicate openly: Address any issues calmly and directly to avoid arousing resentment. Sometimes, explaining certain actions can help them see their impact.
- Prioritize self-care: It’s essential to ensure your own needs are met and that you don’t overburden yourself by adapting to their behaviors.
A selfish personality isn’t necessarily a permanent trait, and with some self-awareness and support, people can change over time. So, make sure to empathize with them, or back off for your own good!
